letter to elise...este ky bbaw pla..

letter i did when me n my bbaw fell apart...nov. 2005 i was so happy back then with her too bad it ended so soon...Hmmm...usher shared his confession n put it on a cd...so i did it with my blog...


bbaw…

haayyy!!!... What a good way to start the Christmas spirit...pero to finally get it over with let me say that im at peace with myself and I did forget about everything na nangyari plus im not mad in anyway. Sadyang may mga ganitong factors lng siguro... bakit b hangang ngayn nmn oh! ksama parin ang pngalan ni L sa lahat ng situation…. Ngging bitter lng ako everytime I would remember it so therefore stop!... at buti namn ngkaron ka rin ng time na kausapin ako na kay tgal kng hinintay mula syo pero shit! <> sana lang you told me that ur getting scared sa situation in the first place lalo na when I arrive here mahirap bng sbihin na "pat im freaking out plus im scared sa lahat ng situation I do hope ud undrstnd" pero hindi kailangan mo pa padama sakin like I don't exist anymore which I really hate.. and alam mo yun. Kailangan mo pa ba sbihin na may good news bad news ka para skin na hindi mo rin cnabi kng ano yun... parang akong isang gago na hindi malaman kng ano ang ggawin and hindi alm ang mga nangyayari… haay!!! Bitterness again… haayyy ulit! I texted you every single night pero ni ha ni ho wala which nagng super sakit para skin like ganun ba kadali how to forget someone si j ba toh?! parng ibang tao na hindi ko kilala… tama ka sinbi mo skin na paulit ulit na WERE JUST FRIENDS plus I got a bucket of tears to prove it… pero you can't deny that we love each other nung time na yun it was that reason I went back in the first place na sbi mo pa don't be scared po.. its nt wat matrs nmn e..db? ms mahalaga na we loved at let love.. wg ka na sad bambaw here lng nmn ako.. im hapy I love u d sme way u do skin.. dn take things fr dr..no worries nga po sa future db.<> ang saya ko nun from the airport p lng pmnta na agad ako sa josefina just to see you coz i miss you so badly... and I told myself that place will alwys be there pero si j would be not! So if that's stupidity then I admit it was my fault for believing. And decision ko yun kaya ako umuwi I was the one to be blame… if given a chance again ggawin ko ulit yun…just put yourself in my shoes and we would switch places definitely you would do exactly the sameway... for the past months I was really sad Hindi ko alm where to put my sadness plus ang dami kng kailngan to fix from work down to my relationship sa pinsan ko.. I was not telling everyone kng ano nangyari skin except 3 people who are close to me my sister and kay popie and kate all of a sudden anna marie knew it.. for that I am sorry kung na offend ka in either way and would hurt you... pero they are my friends what you see is what you get…they are just trying to push me to overcome my problems and maging strong sa situation I thank them for being always there plus I couldn't delete their testi because it started with a happy bday greet.. and anna marie told me na ilagay ko na lng sa isip ko na wala na yng jayme na minahal ko because ur a different person na ngayn <> from her stand point I believe her and it's the only way to forget you and believe me hindi ganun kadali everytime naalala kita all the hapi stuffs I would literaly breakdown mali ko lng siguro nasanay akong ksama ka lagi from powerbuks down to the laundry shop then i would call you evryday para kmsthin... i usually get this cute little note frm you para mg-ingat and evrytime i go to work i alwys see ur smile n the gud morning n the gudbyes pti the first time you said I love you to me when we were watching sassy girl together as in marami png iba just to erase that inside my head was pretty tough... those months being with you was like forever… hindi ako ktulad ni L na would bug you all the time I got my limitations kse I knw na pag lalo kang kinukulit lalo mng iniiwasan. Plus im happy narin for everything like I said and I thank God na khit papano nging bahagi Karin ng buhay ko na kay tgal kng hinintay na mngyari skin plus I did read yng yellow na notebook mo where you wrote evrythng that I texted you nung nsa dubai pa ako im very grateful for that it made me shed a tear if you read it again may maliit na sulat dun na i said i do understand...and enough na skin nalaman ko na minahal mo rin ako.. sad nga lng tlga na umabot sa ganito ang lahat ng pngyayari pero Ikaw narin ang ngsbi na things happen bcoz dy ought 2.. got no regrets whatsoever ngayn plus time heals everything… ADVICE LNG... may ganun?! Mga certain issues pa ba? im not bugging you anymore coz I did promise na last na yung dati enough is enough tama na ang drama sa buhay kung bakit ba tlaga oh! Kinakalimutan ko na nga lahat pero sadyang lumilitaw parin.. kng nggalit ka na ur being judged im sorry for that sana nga lng if you don't like what you see sa testi just don't view it and respethin ang mga opinion ng ibang tao... yun ang sinulat nila eh! n wla din namn akng maggawa they are just trying to help me to move on... kung knwari ganun din ang gngwa ko sayo that I left you hanging n shutout in the open na wlang explanation whtsoevr sa mga ngyyari surely mkkita ko ang mga testi nila L and kara sa page mo ktulad ng sinulat ni anna marie Skin… pero I would respect it kse opinion nila yun…wish ko rin dahil magppasko na not everything in this world revolves around you bago mo sbhin na your being judged eh! tigan muna lahat ng factors bago mag-react usisain muna ang sarili n wag makinig sa mga sbi ng iba na sa huli ay ikw rin ang mssaktan….basta ako wla akng gngawang mali syo minahal lng tlga kita ng sobra na ktulad sa song na I would give anything I own give up my life my heart my home… stupid of me…haaayyy! Kung kelan malapit na xmas naalala ang pgka bitterness…thanks! and news flash pala the Were just friends na
catchphrase...is getting too old and fyi friends do not ditch one another and tntaguan and iniiwasan...na you usually do... Ayos! I could not imagine i was begging you not to leave me ang laki kng tanga back then pero ngayn pg inisip ko natatawa na lng ako....and wla rin nmn ppntahan pgging bitter sa buhay...life is too beautiful and dpt hindi sirain sa mga tao or situations ktulad nito... so therefore forget lht ngyari khit msakit n mg move on... ah! bgo ko pla makalimutan ngppasalamat ako sayo sa lht sa panahon sa pgsama sa kwnthan sa kulitan sa pg simba sa pg darasal ntn dalawa sa mga tuwa n luha at sa pagmamahal... \n\n \nalm ko surely nasaktan ka sa mga snbi ko ngayn for that i am sorry pero sana respthin mo rin yng feelings ko sa lahat na nangyari tao rin ako sadyang may mga human factors na involve hindi ko rin nmn gnsto ang pngyayari sana hindi na lng cnbi ni L na tgnan mo yng mga testi ko para na ignore mo kht ppano n hindi ka nsaktan and hindi hmantong sa ganito...haaayyyy! La...BIG FAVOR just forget about me ok!...para matapos na...pagod narin ako... ingats n smile lagi... plus i do come in peace rin!...


my mind do say that she is now my enemy pero my heart tells me another... cguro enemy pero i love her kahit na brat!.... plus its out of my system na i forgive n forget... you could always say some harsh words when your angry pero it doesn't mean that you really meant it... human emotions that spurt during some nasty situation that in the end doesn't matter anyway... if only i could turn back time...

~trickpa trickyu~